Waiting

The hardest part or the best part? - My Sunday Best # 46

In a conversation earlier this week, the topic of waiting came up. I guess I never thought much about how much time I spend waiting. I wait for the coffee to perk, the sun to come up, the weather to change, the grass to grow, the tomatoes to ripen, the good news, the diagnosis, or… I wait for a day off, the check in the mail, and a return call. If there ever was a list that never ends, it’s called Waiting for____fill in the blank.

When I was a kid, I would have filled in the blank with waiting to be older, so I could be in the next grade, get my driver’s license, or get into the bar to listen to the band. Or, waiting to be taller, so I could ride the Matterhorn rollercoaster at Disneyland, or reach the clutch in our GMC truck. Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.” I don’t disagree, but I want to know more. Why is waiting so hard? My short answer is, that I want things to be different.

This got me thinking about what I do with all the time I have throughout the day when I’m waiting—standing in a line, sitting in a restaurant, or even at a stoplight. More often than I’d like to admit, I use these little pauses to look at my phone and scroll. Every once in a while I’ll look over at the person in the car next to me, or the person in line behind me and smile and say hello. But most times they’re looking at their phones too. However, kids and dogs still look at each other from car windows and shopping carts—noticing the people, the dogs, the sights, and the sounds around them. It makes me smile every time I see a child in a car seat waving, or a dog sitting in the passenger seat looking over at me.

Waiting has an energy of its own. It’s the suspense of not knowing, the time when we hope and believe that anything is possible. It’s the colors of the sky just before the sun rises. The time before we know how it all turns out.

Sometimes I wait with anticipation for the big finale, like a fireworks show. When we lived on the farm in Tennessee, mini herds of horses, or gangs as I liked to call them, took turns barreling up the hollow during the breeding season, in an attempt to challenge a different gang. On one of these occasions, we were standing outside and could hear thundering hooves hitting the ground from a distance. Remember in the Lone Ranger when Tonto would suddenly stop, climb down off his horse, and put his ear to the ground? I’m a believer. Some things you feel before you see. In a matter of seconds, the approaching horses appeared, ran by us at full speed, and disappeared into the trees. I can still feel my heart racing as I reminisce about this moment. Another time, I happened to be standing near an open gate and had a moment of panic as the herd narrowed their formation just in time to make it through the opening—I ran and stood behind a nearby tree to make sure.

I think the biggest challenge for me is not to wish the time away, or “kill” it so to speak. But instead, to lean into it, and notice. I love the practice of noticing. It takes me back to my childhood and the song Going on a Lion Hunt—walking through the tall grass, feeling the cool water of the river,  the dark cave, the wet nose, and the sharp teeth of the lion. By the time the song was over, I was so tuned in to the experience it felt real.

What if I went on a “lion hunt” adventure every time I was waiting for something—curiously leaning in—listening, feeling, seeing, smelling, using all my senses to gather information? When I take Dennis out after dark, sometimes I notice how still the night air is, where Orion is in the sky, or a dog howling in the distance.

I think waiting might just be the best part—a gift of time to notice, to hope, to believe, and to check in with ourselves and others.

I wrote a new song yesterday While I Was Waiting. That’s what it’s called 😉

While I Was Waiting

I walked a mile in the dark, as far as I could go
With my eyes on the horizon, silver waves crashed on the shore
In a stunning display of color, the sky rolled out the dawn
Just like that, the darkness was gone

While I was waiting, I was watching and time slowed down to a crawl
While I was waiting, I was thinking anything is possible
While I was waiting, I was feeling my heartbeat deep in my chest
While I was waiting, I was believing in a miracle
While I was waiting

I could hear them coming fast, thundering hooves hitting the ground
Strong and fearless straight ahead, the wind carried the sound
I stood in awe as they passed by
Then disappeared out of sight

While I was waiting, I was watching and time slowed down to a crawl
While I was waiting, I was thinking anything is possible
While I was waiting, I was feeling my heartbeat deep in my chest
While I was waiting, I was believing in a miracle
While I was waiting

Don't wish the waiting away
It's the place where hope exists
Before we find out how it ends
Feel the magic and lean in

Mickey just happened to get a short clip of the horses in action